Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Love Furiously No Matter What

Remember that which you stand for...for light, for love, for empowerment, and free will. Remember that what you see with your eyes is coming from a biased human being with a perspective that is limited. Remember that what you see through your heart, through your higher self, is that of complete trust in the grander plan, and in humanities free will decisions. Trust in your fellow brothers in sisters, for their ability to stand up for love, above all else. Separation cannot exist without a fight. Light cannot exist without dark. There is a lot of painful growing pains. I feel that today with a passion. But I use that as leverage to stand up taller, to challenge myself to breathe a little deeper, to honor the emotions, and to ultimately get back up and remember that there is no such thing as defeat. There is no such thing as losing. We are all in this together. There are truly no "sides". We are fighting the same fight; some of us just go about it in a different way. And I cannot help but feel disheartened, at the very least. But that is my humanness reacting. I don't just dream of a better tomorrow, I will proactively co-create the life that I want to see; I will challenge any forces that come at me to provoke fear, separateness, inequality, or anything less than love. I will work to heal myself, to forgive myself and the forces that are at play right now, for the pain and suffering that is erupting all over the world. This is a co-created reality. We're experiencing contrast so that we can all collectively get on the same page. We've lowered our standards. We've forgotten unconditional love. But it's not lost, and it never will be. We need to learn to use our innate toolbox, to connect to the source of divinity within each and every one of us...and above all, to see beyond what our human eyes see, and believe in our power; our individual voices to create a shift, not just in politics but in our entire human infrastructure. It's beyond politics. It comes down to the kind of desires we're placing in the universal grid. What are our goals...what is our soul's purpose? It's time to use our inner guidance systems, and start living from the inside out. That way we live a guided life; a life of freedom and joy, and abundance. Fear and bigotry is dismantled. It comes down to human beings loving human beings, and having gratitude for this life experience, this playground of adventures after adventures that teach us so much about Life...that is, the eternalness of our existence. My friends, let your souls feel the emotions that arise, and then rise up to meet your highest expression. Believe in you. Love furiously no matter what. I love you.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Embracing the Approaching Fall Season!

I'm sitting at my kitchen table with a nice hot cup of mint melange tea and listening to beautiful music, feeling the cool crisp (almost) fall breeze creeping in through the windows. I've been keeping the windows open the last couple of days because it has been SO beautiful out. It feels like we're turning the corner from summer to fall, and I'm not yet convinced that I feel ready for it, but I am certainly enjoying some warm tea and my big sweater this morning! Doggies are laying at my feet, and I'm feeling a new sense of composure and readiness to begin new adventures.

I see and feel the fall season as a opportunity to rediscover yourself in a new way, and maybe begin a new project that feels really life giving to you. A lot of people get sad when this time of the season comes around because they will miss summer and the warm weather. I find that the fall season is about balance and remembering that you are in control of your experience and how you choose to flow with this change of seasons. Maybe you live in a part of the world that doesn't have these four seasons like I do in Minnesota, but I would encourage you to still contemplate the natural shift of phases that I think we all experience during different times of the year.

This fall time is about grounding and flowing with change, and maybe granting yourself permission of something that you have been holding back from for a while. We're in a time in our evolution on this earth where the fruit of our labor shows up in physical manifestation faster than ever before. That means in your physical body, mind, and spirit. Sometimes we manifest things in our life that we don't really want, and we're not really sure where it came from! This time of the year our bodies are in preparation for hunkering down just like the bears getting ready to hibernate for the winter! So something really important we can do is collect as much energy as we can, just like the bears. Spend your time wisely, in ways that support your spirit and give you life!

Nurture yourself with warm teas and foods that are easy to digest so your body doesn't have to work as hard for energy. The word "nurture"  keeps coming up as an important key for us right now. Really treat yourself with love and respect by listening to your feelings and your body and acting upon the wisdom it is giving you! Our bodies are ALWAYS talking to us - the questions is if we are listening. I'm feeling extra fatigued the last week, and my digestive system has been really off. So I'm slowing down a lot and prioritizing more meditation time and listening to my body for what it needs. Warmth, extra comfort and everything that makes me feel extra nurtured is the key right now. More meditation time is so good for slowing down and really listening, especially as the weather cools down, it feels even better to curl up in your special cozy meditation spot in solitude.

Whatever brilliant ideas are stirring within you as you read this post, listen to that as divine guidance for yourself and FOLLOW IT! Maybe you're itching to start some new exciting projects like I am. More to come on that later - for now, I am going to get outside with my book and let my doggies sprawl out in the sun! For now I am praising the warm sun we still have!

Monday, May 30, 2016

I'm back!

So, it's been a long time since I've posted on here...AHH! I feel like something always falls by the wayside and I don't realize it until it's super late. But they say late is better than never (or something like that)! I've been up at my cabin all weekend, and thankful for the extended weekend so I could spend more time with my family! Vlogging and posting on YouTube has kind of taken the place of my blog here, but I want to keep this up too, because sometimes writing is just so therapeutic. Even if I'm the only one reading this, it's good for me to keep it up!

A lot has changed this year, and my family has gone through a lot of struggles and turbulence. As a result I have grown a lot as an individual and have learned (in some very difficult ways) how to really enjoy my life and not take any moment for granted. I'm more present with people around me, and I try harder to connect with everyone and see the beauty and possibility of making friendships with people that I may have judged before.

I've noticed since my grandma passed away last February that I have had to really adapt in many new ways that I never anticipated having to do (at least in the near future). She was always the first person I would call if I needed ANYTHING. Literally anything. She would drive an hour just to bring me lunch or pick me up from school. Now that she's not here in the physical anymore, I've had to open myself up to other people, and also find a deeper sense of independence within myself.

Who knew one person out of place could really shake your entire world up? I didn't know that. Because logically, I have so many people around me, and so many family members. But I've noticed it's been a challenge to open myself up to people, and to accept that I will have to be vulnerable sometimes in order to deepen connections. And maybe I will have to let go of beliefs and judgments I have about people in order to feel more connected to the people that I have around me. No one will take the place of my grandma, but more and more as I open up, I notice there are people right in front of me that I can build stronger connections with, and most of all...I'm NOT alone.

A lot of my story in the last couple years has been about my anxiety. And rightfully so, given the amount of change I have had in my life recently, and the pain I have suffered from it. I have been working hard on myself, and seeing myself as a puzzle piece in the wholeness, knowing that this is just part of my journey, and not knowing what is ahead or how I will feel tomorrow or the next day is part of my journey.

I often protect myself out of fear of being hurt. I just figured that out. Phew...I've had a lot of enlightening moments since I made the executive decision to find a therapist to assist me. I've been going for about 5 months now (I think) and it's been such an incredible tool for me in understanding myself at a deeper level. I used to see it as a crutch, and I wanted so desperately to "be okay enough" or "strong enough" to not have to go to therapy. I thought that was a last resort.

When I hit a really difficult time in my life in January when my dad had a heart attack, I decided I needed that crutch. Now I see it as such a blessing because I am so much more empowered. And it's not because of my therapist, it is because I made a decision to work on myself and to get to the root of myself, and I'm learning how to be compassionate and gentle with myself WHERE I'M AT. I am struggling less with trying to be okay and resisting every anxious thought, and learning how to breathe into that moment and let the thoughts and emotions fly. I've learned resisting does no good.

I'm gaining new insights as I practice moving out of my comfort zone; trying new things, driving a little further, and doing more on my own, and it feels good! Sometimes I still get knots in my stomach and I want to turn around and go back home to my safety net, but then I remind myself that my safety net is within myself. I have created that, and my perception of safety is only rooted with my anxiety and not with what I can truly handle. So I'm making some big leaps and bounds I am proud to announce!

I'm learning new things even as I write fingers are moving a million miles an hour (and I told myself I didn't know what to write!) HA! So this is just a check in post, to let you know how I'm doing (honestly) and some of the reasons why I've been on hiatus. It's all good...we all get in funks every once and a while. The main point is that I'm going to try to remember to post more regularly, and I want to be really honest and not have to put on a face that is not authentic. I feel like I do a good job of that, but when it comes to anxiety, it freaks me out to share it sometimes, because I have unreasonable expectations of myself to "get prepared" or to "stop sharing about anxiety over and over again". If I do, that's because that is my life at the moment, and I will continue to share about my real life.

I have no doubt that I will continue to grow and expand and move more and more out of fear and into my true warrior self more and more. I remind myself in moments like this that I signed up to move through these fears so I can see the other side and be a more powerful healer and light in this world. And I also know the greatest teachers out there have all been through the darkness in one way or another. This is shame, no guilt. It is what it is, and I'll keep moving through to the best of my ability and sharing my story and my reflections. The ugly and the nasty if I have too...but also the joys and excitements.


Sunday, March 27, 2016

When you feel really human...

Hey peeps! It's been a long time since I've made a blog post, I'm not really sure why I haven't been writing. I love sharing my thoughts. It's a chance for me to learn something new about myself, and stretch myself to share honestly and openly. 

I've been on my own journey of discovery just like everyone else. Sometimes it's difficult to get online and share when you're in the middle of the experience. As I've been introduced to the world of radio interviewing I've learned to compose my thoughts and have confidence in myself and what I have to share. 

In a recent interview I felt called to share a little bit about my own personal journey, where I talked about how even when you are living a seemingly "awakened" life and you have this spiritual persona and experiences to talk about, you still work through the same stuff as everyone else. You experience darkness, your ego, and tumultuous times that challenge your humanness. 

The instinct we have as humans is to run away from anything (internal or external) that makes us uncomfortable or scared. Of course that makes sense because our design is to protect ourselves, but sometimes we have to lean into what feels uncomfortable so we can transform whatever is triggering us. Sometimes we can learn to overcome these challenges and we find a much more powerful person underneath that we never imagined could be there. 

My personal intention for my life is to rise up to meet my highest self...whatever that takes. Whatever struggle I have to endure, whatever illusions about myself I have to break through, I'll do it. So in response, what comes up to the surface is what I need to move through, and that is often not so fun. 

Everyone has their own struggles. I think it's important to not judge our differences but to celebrate our strength and courage and help each other to move through the journey. Life is not easy, and it's easy to be on autopilot. But then again, it's also easy to get a wild wake up call later in life because you weren't listening. 

I don't want a wild wake up call...I'd rather know myself inside and out, even if it's difficult. It pays off, even if it feels like an uphill battle sometimes. If you're moving uphill for long enough, you can guarantee the ride down will be just around the corner. 

If you are moving through something difficult right now that makes you question your strength and courage because it brings out all your human feels, don't're not alone. Be still when you can and have gratitude for yourself, because it's not easy, not for me, and not for anyone. 

People often assume I am some enlightened person that has no issues, because people come to me for healing and readings to them them through their lives. What people don't realize is that I work through the same things, and the greatest healers are the ones that understand the darkness. Understanding darkness allows you to experience the light in a deeper way. 

So I'll close this by saying, I know where you're going through. And don't give up...know that you can continue to be yourself and you don't need to pretend that you're immune to the human feels when they arise, because it's okay to be vulnerable and not know what the heck is going on. 

You don't learn that in school. You're taught that you can know most everything with a good education (and maybe religion). But all we truly perceive as "reality" is through the lens of our humanness and our three dimensional ways with a logical mind. What's on the other side is limitlessness and unconditional love and fearlessness. 

Can we achieve that? I don't know. Probably aspects of it. But we can try to embrace every aspect of who we are and allow ourselves a deep breath as we're learning and growing. 


Friday, January 15, 2016

Message for January 15th-22nd

"There is a great love for you today, and of course love always surrounds you, but when you concentrate your attention on it, it grows and grows in your favor! So the acknowledgment of your efforts to be fully present in your life are taken note of. You are all so beautiful when you let yourself fully express your divinity and beauty – it’s contagious…remember that!

Don’t forget the impact you have, because as you remember that you are bigger than you believe yourself to be, the impact you will have will be exponential, and all that come in contact with you will be in harmony with your highest and best example. When you align to your truth, all that flock toward you fit that vibration of love and divine synchronicities.

You have to remember that this is so vital, especially as you are emotional based beings, that live from a place of polar emotional values, both what you call “positive” and “negative”, and not that these are truly “good” or “bad”, they just have different definitions that you have attributed to them. So be conscious of how you choose to think about yourself, and others as well. For if you catch yourself thinking icky thoughts about others, or even wishing ill intentions towards others, enemy or not, you are hurting yourself.

You must remember you are connected, and when you open your heart to more love within yourself, sending anything other than love out into the world is not possible, because it doesn’t fit the vibrational frequency of fear and hatred anymore. So, remember your amazing conscious co-creative abilities when you put your mind to it, you’ve got a lot to think about all day every day, but rarely do you focus your attention in conscious directions to benefit your overall well-being and emotional alignment with the source within.

As always, but especially for this week, as we are gathered in the intention for this week, pay special attention to your focus point, and if anything arises that feels less than you deserve, point yourself in the direction of feeling better, by either coaxing yourself into one step at a time, or if you can’t do it on your own, surround yourself with those that will help get you in a better feeling emotionally aligned place, so you can act on your highest good, and ultimately catch those signposts we’ve been sending to you all along!

Remember you can’t fall off track – you only lose hope within yourself, and put your blinders on. Support is always with you, and you’re doing a fantastic job. Ask for what you DESERVE, and listen to be guided in the direction of your personal best outcome."

With all love, infinitely in all directions…
Your partner in crime 

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Thoughts on Love

Love is the one force that is so powerful that it can be beautiful and hurtful at the same time. Sometimes we love so deeply that it can overpower us. And sometimes our love for another can make us go deeper into our being to discover our greatest joys and lessons in life. Sometimes it's the closest people to us that make us look directly at the ego self, and cause us hurt. If you're human, you run into these roadblocks along the way, and it's always difficult. Friends, families, partners, children...all of these relationships are extensions of ourselves, and challenge us to be our greatest self. It can be tough sometimes to discover that piece of ourselves, especially if that lesson means we get hurt by the people in our life that we love the most. Human emotions is a strange and beautiful thing. The more it teaches me sorrow and pain, the more it teaches me the beauty of love and joy and those glimpses of bliss. As we grow and learn how to embody our true self, we have to move through the uncomfortable, and that often means dealing with people and situations that feel icky. We are being challenged to look within and to consciously guide ourselves to our highest vibration, so we can see from the higher perspective the purpose of this relationship and experience. When we see from the higher perspective, there is no judgment or worry...a simple content and KNOWING that all is well. Truly, all is well. Then we can start acting upon that divine guidance and release our own judgment or plans for how to deal with these uncomfortable situations, and release them to heaven. I have an intent and prayer for the universe to guide me to be present and say the right things. And then my job, and your job, is to let go and let God. When you know you've spoken your truth from your heart, and you know it was from the higher perspective and not your mind/emotions, then you have done the best you can. You let it go, and let God. All lessons you need to learn will be learned through your own observation of how YOU respond going forward...and I promise it will show so much growth and expansion that you never knew was inside of you! 

Onward, and upward...with patience, resilience, kindness, compassion, and love.  

Friday, January 1, 2016

Talba's Story: A Short Story About Kindness

He is one of great wisdom, one story after another, one great man that has laughed his way through his life. A time of great turbulence, but was born into a great wisdom, a great truth, and a great teacher of existence. He was Talba, and he was born from greatness. He gave kindness and strength and showed agility in achieving great kindness, which is of course only achieved through giving one’s own kindness. He was a tall man, one with a big smile and a kind heart, and beyond the wisdom of the ages inside. He grew into a man that was born opposite, born into a family that had no interest in him, and did not see his great wisdom and light. So he went cold for a while, shut down his own heart, and spun his way into negative habits. But then an awakening came to him and he found love within. He found a great strength within. He found that he was destined for greatness, and for love. So he went to the butcher, a fine friend, and asked him to cut him a piece of meat, and from there he visited the local town nearby him, about a twenty minute walk from his village. He gave the family of five there his piece of meat. They were so touched by his generosity, that they cried and cried with such a humbleness of life. They could not understand why such a man would pay them so much kindness, even as he was a simple farmer, and a stranger nonetheless. He gave them a piece of corn to remind them of his name. It was a token in his culture, and so they respected him and kept it hanging above the mantle. One day Talba did not return for any more visits to this family’s home, as he did on routine previously. So the family decided to go looking for him, roaming around the village calling his name. “Talba! Talba!” He was nowhere to be found, and they could not understand where he would have gone. To their dismay, they found out from the other villagers that he went out to hunt water buffalo, and we trampled in an accident. He drowned in the river and was unable to pay his friends in the next town over a visit. When they found out the news of the poor peasant man, they wept tears of sadness and despair. They wept because he was a man of such undeniable and eternal kindness and generosity and he died much too early. He was only 29 years old. He had curly dirty locks, shoulder length long, with tattered rags as clothing. He was a simple man with a big heart full of joy despite his lifestyle. They did not understand how one could be so joyful and so simple at the same time. He did not deserve to die in such a horrid condition. So the family returned home from their adventure looking for Talba, and they gathered round the fire, still aghast from the recent news. They spoke of how to honor this beautiful man and how to make his name known to many. They decided to sew a blanket, to tell of his stories. They each sewed a piece of his name, his story; his words of wisdom. And then they passed it on to the next village. They found out soon enough that many had heard of this great man, Talba. Many had heard of his beautiful stories and adventures. He was a wild adventurer man, and he never gave up or left and adventure on the back burner. He left after stilling grace into every one of them. The villagers in the next town began sewing his stories onto the quilt made for a warrior. He was a warrior of kindness. They felt his deep love for them as they sewed through the long hours of the night and the chilled dewy mornings. They would sit by the fire, collecting more stories from the neighbors in their village and laughing of the great stories of wild Talba. He was often a noble prince in disguise when he wanted to truly be a thrill seeking adventurer! He fooled many when he told his extravagant stories under the oak trees, and planted elegant animal skins on their shoulders for warmth. He collected many stories on his journeys, and told them all as he moved from village to village. He was a man of great curiosity, and one with a noble kind heart. He deserved to be a true king, but alas, he was too much of a traveler, and didn’t look the part perhaps. He refused to wear skins on his feet, for he wanted to travel like a poor man, to feel what it felt like to truly be free of all inclinations and all human like behaviors. He wanted to feel like what an animal feels like as they run through the tall grasses, feeling only the sun on their backs, and the wind through their hair. He liked the sound of that more than being a king. But the acting was fun and humorous from time to time. He liked to try on a new outfit as he liked. Talba was a beautiful man, made of courage and strength. And the village people saw him as so. They called him Wind in the Willows, for he always seemed to disappear as he arrived, so swift, and yet so prominent, like the sweetness of dew on the morning grass. When he arrived, you just knew it. You could feel the presence of his sweetness, like the golden rays of the sunset sparkling on the ocean. There’s a great story to be told, and he never knew it. He never knew how his story taught so many how to be kindness warriors like himself. There’s a time and place for all great warriors, but this one, sir Talba, now lies under these grasses and the villagers still chant his name to bring about the kindness in their hearts again. They remind themselves that it always lies within, even when sorrow prevails; even when there’s an eerie stillness in the air. You must know that his kindness lives on, through your heart, and through the heart of all, near and far from Talba’s village. He speaks your name in the stillness of your heart, if you listen.